long awaited

I've started this post several times. I don't really have anything to say, I've just been wanting to update and haven't really had a few uninterrupted moments in front of the computer. I am currently in Lubbock resting for a few days before I officially begin at OP on the 26th. Things are hopping in the big Lub. The Western Little League All Stars are headed to the world series. Oh Western Little League. Let me tell you how many hours I've spent at the Western League fields. The Saturday after I was born was my first appearance. My oldest brother Stephen had a tee-ball game, and a BRAND NEW baby was not enough of an excuse for my mom to miss that game. I'm glad I didn't get some kind of disease. Aren't you supposed to keep your new baby home for a couple of weeks. I'd be interested to know if they also went to church the next morning, or was the baseball diamond the only god worshiped that weekend? My birthday was in May, which was bad because every night was devoted to a game for one of the brothers. In first grade my mom creatively threw my birthday party at the baseball park during a game. Two birds with one stone I guess. 10 little first grade girls running around trying to have a good time at the ball park. I don't remember complaining about it then or even thinking it was weird. So, I'll complain now- 20 years later. That IS weird! Seriously, were thirty games a season not enough to take one night off for your daughter's birthday?? Okay, so I'm not really that bitter. Mom and Dad, please don't feel guilty as you read this. I've just been thinking for the last couple of days about what a huge effect my brother's sports had on our family. If the coach that season was bad, so was the mood of my family. A bad pitching season was devastating. Weddings, graduations, church camps and family vacations were all dependent on the baseball season, the possible playoffs, and perhaps the all stars games following the regular season. And all for what? I'm sure Stephen would still be working for Edward Jones with or without the baseball career of his youth. And I know David would have still met and married Hailey even if he hadn't made every one of those practices. I'm sure the commitment to sports offered my brothers valuable lessons about a good work ethic and honoring your commitments. And yes, I learned the importance of showing up for the people you love. But still, I'm just irritated when I think about it. Why is that?

By the way, as I began typing about Western Little League tonight I thought this post would be nostalgic, not whiny and bitter. I guess I've tapped into some deep childhood pain or something that I'll hash out with a therapist one of these days.