I just got to Lubbock and it's already time to leave. I'm not ready to go back.

closure.

Tomorrow I will see Mr. C for the first time in 2.5 years. Oh the butterflies.

What is it about dreams that is so freaky. Last night I dreamed about my 'family.' In this dream was my mom and two little sisters. Now, I don't have any sisters, so their entire existence was completely fictional. But my mom was a spot on match. Everything was exactly realistic from her voice and hair cut to her snowman pajamas. That's so weird. And I woke up not knowing where I was. I was so freaked out by the experience that I couldn't fall back asleep. I was also scared. I was sure someone was in my apartment.

When I was a little girl, I would pray the same little prayer every night. I always prayed that our house wouldn't be broken into and that I wouldn't have a bad dream. I may repeat that prayer again tonight before I fall asleep.

I'm a little embarrassed by this post. Clearly I need some deep therapy.

Here's some pictures of the ice taken from my balcony. I think they are beautiful.

One Year

At this moment last year I was coming out of recovery. I can't believe it's been a whole year since my surgery. In many ways I feel like this battle will never end, I will always be fighting it. Every pound is a struggle. But I think the struggle is worth it. This surgery has given me a new opportunity to enjoy life. I wouldn't say it's given me a new life- just a new way to live it. So, this is me being completely vulnerable- here is me on December 12, 2006:

And, here is me on December 12, 2007:


I feel I should end this post with a thank you. I entered this surgery and new stage in my life with an enormous amount of support and love from all of you. I could literally feel your prayers as I recovered last year. So, although the words don't feel adequate enough, thank you.

Well I survived. At this time last night I was waiting for the biggest, most dangerous ice storm of all time. The weather people were freaking out. Schools were canceled. And two youth parents called to warn me I might lose power so I should come to their house because they have a generator. (very sweet by the way) So today I'm kind of thinking- what's the big deal?? Yeah, there's some ice on the trees but luckily I missed the major catastrophe causing storm. I don't want to live in fear all season. I hate how the forecasters create these huge emergencies. Yesterday, our children's minister brought a suitcase of clothes to work in case she was to get stuck at the building because the news had scared her. That makes me laugh a little. Our male ministers are from the north and us girls are from Texas- so, the boys sit around really calm about the weather while us girls are freaking out and climbing up the walls. Oh Kansas.

Yesterday I got to go spend a HUGE amount of money. Don't worry mom, it wasn't out of my own checking account. Tomorrow night me and the teens are heading out to take Christmas to a foster facility. I'm so excited. We're having a party with a special appearance by the big man himself (Santa, not God). So, yesterday I got to go out and buy board games, playing cards, dominoes, art supplies....... It was just wonderful. I was pulling two overflowing carts around Walmart trying to weave in and out of the crowd. I was quite the spectacle and I kept hitting the back of my heels with the back cart. That hurt, but I know for a fact that I've never had that much fun shopping in my life!

19 degrees. Whoo-hoo. Anyways, I've taken a journey this weekend. A journey down memory lane. When I moved into my apartment, I found lots of old photos and albums. So, last night I finally got them out and looked through them. I must say, I've lived in this nostalgic state all day. My teen years, at least the later ones, were just awesome. I had such good friends and so much fun. My life is really great now, and I wouldn't ask for anything more. But, there is something really special about those years, kind of like the best years of your life...

So, join me in my journey. I put all of these on facebook, but I know many of you aren't on facebook so I decided to put them here as well. Here's the youth group section. This is a picture of me and my youth minister Jack Whiddon at camp in Estes Park, CO. My version of heaven is that camp in those mountains.
Okay, this one is just funny to me. Our youth group had such hotties! And they loved taking off their shirts for the camera. I don't even remember this, so I must have stolen the picture from someone for the eye candy.

These two are by far the two cutest girls I know. Lauren Griffin and Sara Fannin, I just love you two.

This is me and Josh something. He was by far the hottest intern of all time and I had the biggest crush on him that lasted much longer than just the summer he was around. I know I was not alone.

Here's me and Meghan Fleming. I just loved her. What ever happened to her? I really like this picture mostly because I am so skinny and cute in it. Why was I single?

Ryan Crumpler and I. He was my best friend. I haven't had that good of a friend (who is also male) since him. I guess it's because all of the guys I know now are married to my girl friends.

This one is so funny too. This was the day my dress arrived for my brother's wedding. I was 14! (Is there anything better than braces?) So, Maddie Culwell came over after church to see it. We were all so excited about Stephen's wedding. That dress is really strange looking now, over ten years later. It was really pretty then though.

Here's a group shot from camp. I think my favorite thing about it is Emily Berry and Ryan Blankenship (yellow t-shirt and the boy). They were so sweet to me. They were older than me but never treated me like I was younger. Looking back, they took really good care of me. Again, I wonder what ever happened to them.

Best of friends. I have so many of these pictures. I could make a whole album of pictures of me, Annie, Allison, and Lynsey. What I love about this picture of the four of us is that we are still great friends and get together as often as we can, which sadly isn't very often. I love these ladies dearly.

And lastly, here a picture of my brother with Lauren Culwell and Smash. I really can't believe how tan David is, and how short his hair is. The reality was that just about ever girl in the youth group was totally in love with Dave- which made my life a little difficult at times. And I'm not talking about a little crush- I mean totally in love with him. It's funny because he never dated any of them. Playing hard to get I guess. I also love that face he's making. He still makes it.



And here's a few from High School. This one was from a choir trip to Orlando. We went to this weird thing called Arabian Nights. It was supposed to be like Medieval Times, but it really sucked. I liked the picture though.
This was from Twirp week. We took the boys out to laser tag and a steak dinner, I think-if I'm remembering correctly. I do remember having tons of fun that night.


I was the proud recipient of the Spirit Award each year I was in choir. I think this award was for those faithful choir members who didn't necessarily have the greatest voices, but did have the greatest attitudes. I was always really excited to get the award. I wonder what ever happened to those plaques.


Here's me and my super cute date to the choir banquet, Dustin. As you can tell, most of my life took place around choir events.


Whitney, Priscilla, Me, and Heather. We had so much fun together. I have a bunch of these pictures too. Sadly, I never see them any more.

Here's me and Whitney. We were a lot alike and laughed a lot. This was after a choir concert on my 18th birthday. I love this picture.

I guess it's fitting to end with a graduation picture. Here's me and Cullen (Mr. C for you devoted readers out there). I remember graduation day being a little more sad than exciting.

I hope you've enjoyed this journey. I know I have.

There was this time when I worked with teenagers and they were never mad at me. Those were the days.

In other news, it snowed today. And it was delightful.

We've already reached our high today: 31 degrees.

My new favorite store is: Gordmans.

It is super. It has a TJMaxx feel, but it's much bigger and the products are higher quality. But the prices are still super low!! They're even open til 11 throughout the holidays. How great is that. Well, great for me, not so great for the employees. Hop into your local Gordmans today!