Thursday, July 05, 2007

Bye.

Well, I talked to him last weekend. I was missing him and decided to call. I've always loved our phone calls. We can be so honest and open, and I love to hear about his life. For years now I have longed for these phone calls, always hoping that he was thinking about me too. This call was different though. Yes, he's in a good place and I'm in a good place, and of course I was happy to hear his voice. The conversation was nice but it wasn't the same. Maybe he's changed, or I've changed, or probably both. For the first time, when I hung up the phone I had no desire to ever talk to him again. After loving him for so long, I just don't want to anymore-and I'm not sad about that. I'm not happy about it either, I just am. This is my reality- realizing the finality and accepting it. I just don't want you anymore.

3 comments:

Allison said...

Congratulations. I am proud of you, and happy for you. Congratulations on just being. That is great.

Robby and Lynsey said...

I, too, am so proud of you and happy for you. You sound so at peace with it. THere is no telling what's in store for you ... just waiting around any corner. :)

And I think you wrote a few really good song lyrics in there .... you'll have to work those out with a little music. :) Love you!

Morgandy Barnett said...

As the others have said I am also really happy for you! It sounds like you are in a good place and you are comfortable with you which is the most important thing you can do for yourself...and now I sound like Dr. Phil (lame) sorry! Anyways I love you a bunch!

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