I'm continually surprised by God's work in my life. I wonder why. I guess grad school jaded me quite a bit. I've lived for a while now really doubting God's work in the everyday seemingly mundane details of life. How can Almighty God really be present in those minor details? Doesn't God have better things to do, better places to work and be present? Isn't it enough that God sent a Savior to this earth for me and the rest of creation? With all of the pain, injustice, sin, tears, fallen-ness ... this world has to offer, does God really care about a little ole youth ministry in eastern Kansas, USA enough to 'work out' the details, to consistently be present, and to continually bless? I don't know exactly where I land on all of this, but here's what I do know: the blessing aren't stopping. The parent's meetings, retreats, conversations, and worship times keep 'working out' and my only explanation is that God must be involved, because I know it sure isn't anything I'm doing.

The best part of my holiday:

I just got to Lubbock and it's already time to leave. I'm not ready to go back.

closure.

Tomorrow I will see Mr. C for the first time in 2.5 years. Oh the butterflies.

What is it about dreams that is so freaky. Last night I dreamed about my 'family.' In this dream was my mom and two little sisters. Now, I don't have any sisters, so their entire existence was completely fictional. But my mom was a spot on match. Everything was exactly realistic from her voice and hair cut to her snowman pajamas. That's so weird. And I woke up not knowing where I was. I was so freaked out by the experience that I couldn't fall back asleep. I was also scared. I was sure someone was in my apartment.

When I was a little girl, I would pray the same little prayer every night. I always prayed that our house wouldn't be broken into and that I wouldn't have a bad dream. I may repeat that prayer again tonight before I fall asleep.

I'm a little embarrassed by this post. Clearly I need some deep therapy.

Here's some pictures of the ice taken from my balcony. I think they are beautiful.

One Year

At this moment last year I was coming out of recovery. I can't believe it's been a whole year since my surgery. In many ways I feel like this battle will never end, I will always be fighting it. Every pound is a struggle. But I think the struggle is worth it. This surgery has given me a new opportunity to enjoy life. I wouldn't say it's given me a new life- just a new way to live it. So, this is me being completely vulnerable- here is me on December 12, 2006:

And, here is me on December 12, 2007:


I feel I should end this post with a thank you. I entered this surgery and new stage in my life with an enormous amount of support and love from all of you. I could literally feel your prayers as I recovered last year. So, although the words don't feel adequate enough, thank you.

Well I survived. At this time last night I was waiting for the biggest, most dangerous ice storm of all time. The weather people were freaking out. Schools were canceled. And two youth parents called to warn me I might lose power so I should come to their house because they have a generator. (very sweet by the way) So today I'm kind of thinking- what's the big deal?? Yeah, there's some ice on the trees but luckily I missed the major catastrophe causing storm. I don't want to live in fear all season. I hate how the forecasters create these huge emergencies. Yesterday, our children's minister brought a suitcase of clothes to work in case she was to get stuck at the building because the news had scared her. That makes me laugh a little. Our male ministers are from the north and us girls are from Texas- so, the boys sit around really calm about the weather while us girls are freaking out and climbing up the walls. Oh Kansas.

Yesterday I got to go spend a HUGE amount of money. Don't worry mom, it wasn't out of my own checking account. Tomorrow night me and the teens are heading out to take Christmas to a foster facility. I'm so excited. We're having a party with a special appearance by the big man himself (Santa, not God). So, yesterday I got to go out and buy board games, playing cards, dominoes, art supplies....... It was just wonderful. I was pulling two overflowing carts around Walmart trying to weave in and out of the crowd. I was quite the spectacle and I kept hitting the back of my heels with the back cart. That hurt, but I know for a fact that I've never had that much fun shopping in my life!

19 degrees. Whoo-hoo. Anyways, I've taken a journey this weekend. A journey down memory lane. When I moved into my apartment, I found lots of old photos and albums. So, last night I finally got them out and looked through them. I must say, I've lived in this nostalgic state all day. My teen years, at least the later ones, were just awesome. I had such good friends and so much fun. My life is really great now, and I wouldn't ask for anything more. But, there is something really special about those years, kind of like the best years of your life...

So, join me in my journey. I put all of these on facebook, but I know many of you aren't on facebook so I decided to put them here as well. Here's the youth group section. This is a picture of me and my youth minister Jack Whiddon at camp in Estes Park, CO. My version of heaven is that camp in those mountains.
Okay, this one is just funny to me. Our youth group had such hotties! And they loved taking off their shirts for the camera. I don't even remember this, so I must have stolen the picture from someone for the eye candy.

These two are by far the two cutest girls I know. Lauren Griffin and Sara Fannin, I just love you two.

This is me and Josh something. He was by far the hottest intern of all time and I had the biggest crush on him that lasted much longer than just the summer he was around. I know I was not alone.

Here's me and Meghan Fleming. I just loved her. What ever happened to her? I really like this picture mostly because I am so skinny and cute in it. Why was I single?

Ryan Crumpler and I. He was my best friend. I haven't had that good of a friend (who is also male) since him. I guess it's because all of the guys I know now are married to my girl friends.

This one is so funny too. This was the day my dress arrived for my brother's wedding. I was 14! (Is there anything better than braces?) So, Maddie Culwell came over after church to see it. We were all so excited about Stephen's wedding. That dress is really strange looking now, over ten years later. It was really pretty then though.

Here's a group shot from camp. I think my favorite thing about it is Emily Berry and Ryan Blankenship (yellow t-shirt and the boy). They were so sweet to me. They were older than me but never treated me like I was younger. Looking back, they took really good care of me. Again, I wonder what ever happened to them.

Best of friends. I have so many of these pictures. I could make a whole album of pictures of me, Annie, Allison, and Lynsey. What I love about this picture of the four of us is that we are still great friends and get together as often as we can, which sadly isn't very often. I love these ladies dearly.

And lastly, here a picture of my brother with Lauren Culwell and Smash. I really can't believe how tan David is, and how short his hair is. The reality was that just about ever girl in the youth group was totally in love with Dave- which made my life a little difficult at times. And I'm not talking about a little crush- I mean totally in love with him. It's funny because he never dated any of them. Playing hard to get I guess. I also love that face he's making. He still makes it.



And here's a few from High School. This one was from a choir trip to Orlando. We went to this weird thing called Arabian Nights. It was supposed to be like Medieval Times, but it really sucked. I liked the picture though.
This was from Twirp week. We took the boys out to laser tag and a steak dinner, I think-if I'm remembering correctly. I do remember having tons of fun that night.


I was the proud recipient of the Spirit Award each year I was in choir. I think this award was for those faithful choir members who didn't necessarily have the greatest voices, but did have the greatest attitudes. I was always really excited to get the award. I wonder what ever happened to those plaques.


Here's me and my super cute date to the choir banquet, Dustin. As you can tell, most of my life took place around choir events.


Whitney, Priscilla, Me, and Heather. We had so much fun together. I have a bunch of these pictures too. Sadly, I never see them any more.

Here's me and Whitney. We were a lot alike and laughed a lot. This was after a choir concert on my 18th birthday. I love this picture.

I guess it's fitting to end with a graduation picture. Here's me and Cullen (Mr. C for you devoted readers out there). I remember graduation day being a little more sad than exciting.

I hope you've enjoyed this journey. I know I have.

There was this time when I worked with teenagers and they were never mad at me. Those were the days.

In other news, it snowed today. And it was delightful.

We've already reached our high today: 31 degrees.

My new favorite store is: Gordmans.

It is super. It has a TJMaxx feel, but it's much bigger and the products are higher quality. But the prices are still super low!! They're even open til 11 throughout the holidays. How great is that. Well, great for me, not so great for the employees. Hop into your local Gordmans today!

Well, I returned from my Thanksgiving Texas trek to a whole new season. The cold weather has arrived, and I'm freezing. All of my winter clothes were way too big, so I gave them away last spring and now I don't have many things to keep me warm. My first winter purchase was a coat. This coat actually:

Pretty cute huh. Target baby.

My Thanksgiving was wonderful! I went down to San Antonio to meet up with the rest of my family. I was in charge of the sweet potatoes which totally stressed me out. I was very concerned that I would mess them up, and you know people can't help but judge you when you make bad food. So the pressure was on. I guess they turned out okay. On Friday we went to Fredricksburg to look around and celebrate my brother's birthday. I loved all the little shops, but the place was packed. And the weird thing was that a lot of people were walking around with their dogs. Like dogs want to go shopping. Anyways, I was really sad to come home on Saturday, but I guess all good things must come to an end.

So, here's a funny story that would only happen to a minister. Every week I work really hard to find enough stuff to put in our weekly bulletin. I never have enough stuff to fill up our pages. So, the week after I got back from the youth conference, I put the picture of me and David Crowder in the youth pages. I thought the kids would get a kick out of it. Above the picture were the words Sue & David Crowder. Well, since that Sunday I've had at least 20 people ask me if I had gotten married. Seriously. I also have had several people tell me that other people had asked them if I'd gotten married. Our preacher thought he was a homeless man. So, I guess I'm the only person in Kansas who knows who David Crowder is. Also, no more pictures of myself in the bulletin.

It's coming... :)

I love David Crowder. Maybe you didn't catch that. I LOVE David Crowder. So, this weekend as I traveled to St. Louis for the Youth Specialties conference, I was most excited that the David Crowder Band would be leading worship. So here's the story. I hurried to get the best seat I could. Here's my view:

After the session I knew I'd be able to find him somewhere. I went over to this little side curtain area, in true stalker form, and there he was!!!! Score big daddy. When he got around to shaking my hand I started freaking out a bit, which I think freaked him out a little too. I had on my David Crowder Band shirt for the occasion and didn't have any of my cds, so I asked him to sign my t-shirt. I was thinking upper front shoulder area, but as I pointed to it I realized that was really close to the boob area. So then I said, 'oh I don't want to make you uncomfortable, where do you want to sign?' And he said, 'we've moved well past the point of uncomfortable.' Yes, I'm a total stalker freak show. So, here is the picture of us finding an 'appropriate' spot for signage:


Here he is actually signing the shirt:


And here's the last picture of us. It's a nice one, huh. At the end of the experience I apologized to the rest of the people standing around for the spectacle I'd made of myself. And Crowder said thanks for my enthusiasm and excitement about his music. All in all, it was the perfect moment.

It smells like fall

So, this is my first real fall. West Texas falls leave something to be desired. I'm loving watching the leaves change and the weather has been awesome. I leave the windows open all the time. I'm really trying to embrace the whole season. So, I've been doing fall things with the teens. My favorite has to be camp fires. It seems like as soon as I get the smell of camp fire out of my clothes, I go to another one. This morning when I was getting ready I could still smell camp fire, and it's been several days and several showers. Anyways, here's a few fall pictures.

This is a group shot from the Middle School Retreat. We had so much fun and I had my first paint ball experience. Honestly, what's the big deal about paint ball? I guess it's sort of fun, but come on- what's with all the hype? There are actual paint ball guns that cost 2000 dollars!! Why?


Alright, here's a picture my sister in law sent to me of my niece Kaelan. They were at a pumpkin patch. This is my favorite picture because she looks like she's about to go head first down the slide. I'm really missing her!

And here's one from a girls night out we had on Saturday. We had such a good time. I decorated my pumpkin as a little Sue. I even gave her black curly ribbon hair. We cooked hot dogs and s'mores over the fire and used actual sticks, not hangers. It was awesome. We even went on a hayride, but unfortunately the tractor hit a hole or something and lost a tire. So we had to walk back in the dark. But it was fun while it lasted. We finished the night just singing around the fire. I really do have the best job ever.

no, I didn't die

So, every night I get home and think- I need to update my blog. There's just so much to do and so little time.

As thankful as I am for my education, there's just so much they didn't teach me. For instance, one day I had just gotten settled in my pew and was trying to focus on worship and God and all that churchy stuff when one of my high school boys came and found me and said- "Sue we need you, it's an emergency." Of course I'm thinking, someone is hurt or dying or about to be arrested. So, I get down to the basement and find two of my high school girls. They were in great distress and very happy to see me- someone who could help. These are the moments when you truly feel like you're making a difference. The kids need you and that feels great. Then I was taken back down to reality when the girls told me what was going on. They had found a stray cat behind the building. Yes, all of this commotion about a cat. I stood there for a moment, and finally said, "Well... what are you wanting me to do?" Apparently, there was a person who was tired of owning their cat, so they left the cat, carrier, and a sack of food behind the church building. That's so weird. Anyways, as much as I wanted to tell the girls to just let the cat go, (it is just a cat for goodness sake!) I found an open shelter, got a police officer involved, and eventually found a farm for the cat live out the rest of its days. Just call me youth minister of the year. Perhaps I should minister exclusively to cats. That would be much easier.

A quick update

I've officially started working at OP.
I'm officially moved into my apartment.
I've officially lost 92 pounds!