Here's some pictures of the ice taken from my balcony. I think they are beautiful.

One Year

At this moment last year I was coming out of recovery. I can't believe it's been a whole year since my surgery. In many ways I feel like this battle will never end, I will always be fighting it. Every pound is a struggle. But I think the struggle is worth it. This surgery has given me a new opportunity to enjoy life. I wouldn't say it's given me a new life- just a new way to live it. So, this is me being completely vulnerable- here is me on December 12, 2006:

And, here is me on December 12, 2007:


I feel I should end this post with a thank you. I entered this surgery and new stage in my life with an enormous amount of support and love from all of you. I could literally feel your prayers as I recovered last year. So, although the words don't feel adequate enough, thank you.

Well I survived. At this time last night I was waiting for the biggest, most dangerous ice storm of all time. The weather people were freaking out. Schools were canceled. And two youth parents called to warn me I might lose power so I should come to their house because they have a generator. (very sweet by the way) So today I'm kind of thinking- what's the big deal?? Yeah, there's some ice on the trees but luckily I missed the major catastrophe causing storm. I don't want to live in fear all season. I hate how the forecasters create these huge emergencies. Yesterday, our children's minister brought a suitcase of clothes to work in case she was to get stuck at the building because the news had scared her. That makes me laugh a little. Our male ministers are from the north and us girls are from Texas- so, the boys sit around really calm about the weather while us girls are freaking out and climbing up the walls. Oh Kansas.

Yesterday I got to go spend a HUGE amount of money. Don't worry mom, it wasn't out of my own checking account. Tomorrow night me and the teens are heading out to take Christmas to a foster facility. I'm so excited. We're having a party with a special appearance by the big man himself (Santa, not God). So, yesterday I got to go out and buy board games, playing cards, dominoes, art supplies....... It was just wonderful. I was pulling two overflowing carts around Walmart trying to weave in and out of the crowd. I was quite the spectacle and I kept hitting the back of my heels with the back cart. That hurt, but I know for a fact that I've never had that much fun shopping in my life!

19 degrees. Whoo-hoo. Anyways, I've taken a journey this weekend. A journey down memory lane. When I moved into my apartment, I found lots of old photos and albums. So, last night I finally got them out and looked through them. I must say, I've lived in this nostalgic state all day. My teen years, at least the later ones, were just awesome. I had such good friends and so much fun. My life is really great now, and I wouldn't ask for anything more. But, there is something really special about those years, kind of like the best years of your life...

So, join me in my journey. I put all of these on facebook, but I know many of you aren't on facebook so I decided to put them here as well. Here's the youth group section. This is a picture of me and my youth minister Jack Whiddon at camp in Estes Park, CO. My version of heaven is that camp in those mountains.
Okay, this one is just funny to me. Our youth group had such hotties! And they loved taking off their shirts for the camera. I don't even remember this, so I must have stolen the picture from someone for the eye candy.

These two are by far the two cutest girls I know. Lauren Griffin and Sara Fannin, I just love you two.

This is me and Josh something. He was by far the hottest intern of all time and I had the biggest crush on him that lasted much longer than just the summer he was around. I know I was not alone.

Here's me and Meghan Fleming. I just loved her. What ever happened to her? I really like this picture mostly because I am so skinny and cute in it. Why was I single?

Ryan Crumpler and I. He was my best friend. I haven't had that good of a friend (who is also male) since him. I guess it's because all of the guys I know now are married to my girl friends.

This one is so funny too. This was the day my dress arrived for my brother's wedding. I was 14! (Is there anything better than braces?) So, Maddie Culwell came over after church to see it. We were all so excited about Stephen's wedding. That dress is really strange looking now, over ten years later. It was really pretty then though.

Here's a group shot from camp. I think my favorite thing about it is Emily Berry and Ryan Blankenship (yellow t-shirt and the boy). They were so sweet to me. They were older than me but never treated me like I was younger. Looking back, they took really good care of me. Again, I wonder what ever happened to them.

Best of friends. I have so many of these pictures. I could make a whole album of pictures of me, Annie, Allison, and Lynsey. What I love about this picture of the four of us is that we are still great friends and get together as often as we can, which sadly isn't very often. I love these ladies dearly.

And lastly, here a picture of my brother with Lauren Culwell and Smash. I really can't believe how tan David is, and how short his hair is. The reality was that just about ever girl in the youth group was totally in love with Dave- which made my life a little difficult at times. And I'm not talking about a little crush- I mean totally in love with him. It's funny because he never dated any of them. Playing hard to get I guess. I also love that face he's making. He still makes it.



And here's a few from High School. This one was from a choir trip to Orlando. We went to this weird thing called Arabian Nights. It was supposed to be like Medieval Times, but it really sucked. I liked the picture though.
This was from Twirp week. We took the boys out to laser tag and a steak dinner, I think-if I'm remembering correctly. I do remember having tons of fun that night.


I was the proud recipient of the Spirit Award each year I was in choir. I think this award was for those faithful choir members who didn't necessarily have the greatest voices, but did have the greatest attitudes. I was always really excited to get the award. I wonder what ever happened to those plaques.


Here's me and my super cute date to the choir banquet, Dustin. As you can tell, most of my life took place around choir events.


Whitney, Priscilla, Me, and Heather. We had so much fun together. I have a bunch of these pictures too. Sadly, I never see them any more.

Here's me and Whitney. We were a lot alike and laughed a lot. This was after a choir concert on my 18th birthday. I love this picture.

I guess it's fitting to end with a graduation picture. Here's me and Cullen (Mr. C for you devoted readers out there). I remember graduation day being a little more sad than exciting.

I hope you've enjoyed this journey. I know I have.

There was this time when I worked with teenagers and they were never mad at me. Those were the days.

In other news, it snowed today. And it was delightful.

We've already reached our high today: 31 degrees.

My new favorite store is: Gordmans.

It is super. It has a TJMaxx feel, but it's much bigger and the products are higher quality. But the prices are still super low!! They're even open til 11 throughout the holidays. How great is that. Well, great for me, not so great for the employees. Hop into your local Gordmans today!

Well, I returned from my Thanksgiving Texas trek to a whole new season. The cold weather has arrived, and I'm freezing. All of my winter clothes were way too big, so I gave them away last spring and now I don't have many things to keep me warm. My first winter purchase was a coat. This coat actually:

Pretty cute huh. Target baby.

My Thanksgiving was wonderful! I went down to San Antonio to meet up with the rest of my family. I was in charge of the sweet potatoes which totally stressed me out. I was very concerned that I would mess them up, and you know people can't help but judge you when you make bad food. So the pressure was on. I guess they turned out okay. On Friday we went to Fredricksburg to look around and celebrate my brother's birthday. I loved all the little shops, but the place was packed. And the weird thing was that a lot of people were walking around with their dogs. Like dogs want to go shopping. Anyways, I was really sad to come home on Saturday, but I guess all good things must come to an end.

So, here's a funny story that would only happen to a minister. Every week I work really hard to find enough stuff to put in our weekly bulletin. I never have enough stuff to fill up our pages. So, the week after I got back from the youth conference, I put the picture of me and David Crowder in the youth pages. I thought the kids would get a kick out of it. Above the picture were the words Sue & David Crowder. Well, since that Sunday I've had at least 20 people ask me if I had gotten married. Seriously. I also have had several people tell me that other people had asked them if I'd gotten married. Our preacher thought he was a homeless man. So, I guess I'm the only person in Kansas who knows who David Crowder is. Also, no more pictures of myself in the bulletin.

It's coming... :)

I love David Crowder. Maybe you didn't catch that. I LOVE David Crowder. So, this weekend as I traveled to St. Louis for the Youth Specialties conference, I was most excited that the David Crowder Band would be leading worship. So here's the story. I hurried to get the best seat I could. Here's my view:

After the session I knew I'd be able to find him somewhere. I went over to this little side curtain area, in true stalker form, and there he was!!!! Score big daddy. When he got around to shaking my hand I started freaking out a bit, which I think freaked him out a little too. I had on my David Crowder Band shirt for the occasion and didn't have any of my cds, so I asked him to sign my t-shirt. I was thinking upper front shoulder area, but as I pointed to it I realized that was really close to the boob area. So then I said, 'oh I don't want to make you uncomfortable, where do you want to sign?' And he said, 'we've moved well past the point of uncomfortable.' Yes, I'm a total stalker freak show. So, here is the picture of us finding an 'appropriate' spot for signage:


Here he is actually signing the shirt:


And here's the last picture of us. It's a nice one, huh. At the end of the experience I apologized to the rest of the people standing around for the spectacle I'd made of myself. And Crowder said thanks for my enthusiasm and excitement about his music. All in all, it was the perfect moment.

It smells like fall

So, this is my first real fall. West Texas falls leave something to be desired. I'm loving watching the leaves change and the weather has been awesome. I leave the windows open all the time. I'm really trying to embrace the whole season. So, I've been doing fall things with the teens. My favorite has to be camp fires. It seems like as soon as I get the smell of camp fire out of my clothes, I go to another one. This morning when I was getting ready I could still smell camp fire, and it's been several days and several showers. Anyways, here's a few fall pictures.

This is a group shot from the Middle School Retreat. We had so much fun and I had my first paint ball experience. Honestly, what's the big deal about paint ball? I guess it's sort of fun, but come on- what's with all the hype? There are actual paint ball guns that cost 2000 dollars!! Why?


Alright, here's a picture my sister in law sent to me of my niece Kaelan. They were at a pumpkin patch. This is my favorite picture because she looks like she's about to go head first down the slide. I'm really missing her!

And here's one from a girls night out we had on Saturday. We had such a good time. I decorated my pumpkin as a little Sue. I even gave her black curly ribbon hair. We cooked hot dogs and s'mores over the fire and used actual sticks, not hangers. It was awesome. We even went on a hayride, but unfortunately the tractor hit a hole or something and lost a tire. So we had to walk back in the dark. But it was fun while it lasted. We finished the night just singing around the fire. I really do have the best job ever.

no, I didn't die

So, every night I get home and think- I need to update my blog. There's just so much to do and so little time.

As thankful as I am for my education, there's just so much they didn't teach me. For instance, one day I had just gotten settled in my pew and was trying to focus on worship and God and all that churchy stuff when one of my high school boys came and found me and said- "Sue we need you, it's an emergency." Of course I'm thinking, someone is hurt or dying or about to be arrested. So, I get down to the basement and find two of my high school girls. They were in great distress and very happy to see me- someone who could help. These are the moments when you truly feel like you're making a difference. The kids need you and that feels great. Then I was taken back down to reality when the girls told me what was going on. They had found a stray cat behind the building. Yes, all of this commotion about a cat. I stood there for a moment, and finally said, "Well... what are you wanting me to do?" Apparently, there was a person who was tired of owning their cat, so they left the cat, carrier, and a sack of food behind the church building. That's so weird. Anyways, as much as I wanted to tell the girls to just let the cat go, (it is just a cat for goodness sake!) I found an open shelter, got a police officer involved, and eventually found a farm for the cat live out the rest of its days. Just call me youth minister of the year. Perhaps I should minister exclusively to cats. That would be much easier.

A quick update

I've officially started working at OP.
I'm officially moved into my apartment.
I've officially lost 92 pounds!

long awaited

I've started this post several times. I don't really have anything to say, I've just been wanting to update and haven't really had a few uninterrupted moments in front of the computer. I am currently in Lubbock resting for a few days before I officially begin at OP on the 26th. Things are hopping in the big Lub. The Western Little League All Stars are headed to the world series. Oh Western Little League. Let me tell you how many hours I've spent at the Western League fields. The Saturday after I was born was my first appearance. My oldest brother Stephen had a tee-ball game, and a BRAND NEW baby was not enough of an excuse for my mom to miss that game. I'm glad I didn't get some kind of disease. Aren't you supposed to keep your new baby home for a couple of weeks. I'd be interested to know if they also went to church the next morning, or was the baseball diamond the only god worshiped that weekend? My birthday was in May, which was bad because every night was devoted to a game for one of the brothers. In first grade my mom creatively threw my birthday party at the baseball park during a game. Two birds with one stone I guess. 10 little first grade girls running around trying to have a good time at the ball park. I don't remember complaining about it then or even thinking it was weird. So, I'll complain now- 20 years later. That IS weird! Seriously, were thirty games a season not enough to take one night off for your daughter's birthday?? Okay, so I'm not really that bitter. Mom and Dad, please don't feel guilty as you read this. I've just been thinking for the last couple of days about what a huge effect my brother's sports had on our family. If the coach that season was bad, so was the mood of my family. A bad pitching season was devastating. Weddings, graduations, church camps and family vacations were all dependent on the baseball season, the possible playoffs, and perhaps the all stars games following the regular season. And all for what? I'm sure Stephen would still be working for Edward Jones with or without the baseball career of his youth. And I know David would have still met and married Hailey even if he hadn't made every one of those practices. I'm sure the commitment to sports offered my brothers valuable lessons about a good work ethic and honoring your commitments. And yes, I learned the importance of showing up for the people you love. But still, I'm just irritated when I think about it. Why is that?

By the way, as I began typing about Western Little League tonight I thought this post would be nostalgic, not whiny and bitter. I guess I've tapped into some deep childhood pain or something that I'll hash out with a therapist one of these days.

It's official

I am now a real youth minister with a real job and a permanent resident of Kansas City!! Whoo-hoo! I can't believe it, but all of the pieces have finally come together. After years of prayer, preparation, and a big step of faith, God has blessed me with my dream job. I really couldn't ask for a better situation to begin full time ministry. The news was announced tonight at church and I was showered with so much love. I am just so thankful and blessed. God is good my friends, God is good.

Back home, camp was awesome. Time to leave again.

It's that time of year. The sun is shining. People are getting tan on their vacations. And I'm running around to every craft store, hard ware store, and Dollar Tree in town buying candles, crayons, 200 hundred red bricks, 80 clothes pins, and a million little mosaic tiles. It's camp time baby and I'm already tired. Tomorrow morning I'm headed to central Missouri with my kids to try to lead them a little closer to God. Last year our hottest day was 106 degrees, so I'm a little nervous about the heat. But other than that I think we're in for a great week. Our senior minister is going with us and I'm pumped. Growing up, our preacher always went to camp with us and we loved it. I'm excited for the kids to see him out of the pulpit. Anyways, I just love camp.

Bye.

Well, I talked to him last weekend. I was missing him and decided to call. I've always loved our phone calls. We can be so honest and open, and I love to hear about his life. For years now I have longed for these phone calls, always hoping that he was thinking about me too. This call was different though. Yes, he's in a good place and I'm in a good place, and of course I was happy to hear his voice. The conversation was nice but it wasn't the same. Maybe he's changed, or I've changed, or probably both. For the first time, when I hung up the phone I had no desire to ever talk to him again. After loving him for so long, I just don't want to anymore-and I'm not sad about that. I'm not happy about it either, I just am. This is my reality- realizing the finality and accepting it. I just don't want you anymore.

I forgot to mention this. After we finished our work in New Orleans, we headed over to Galveston for a day of rest and relaxation. As we were walking down the side walk, we looked over and saw this:

So, technically this isn't a real tornado, it's a water spout. I have no idea what that is, but it looks like a tornado to me. In all of my years living in West Texas spring time daily tornado warnings, I've never actually seen one- so I was pumped. I kept thinking to myself, am I really seeing this??

In other news, last night I watched The Lakehouse. I guess it wasn't too bad. Any thoughts??

So, what's worse? Only having one choice or having too many choices? That's my question of the week and it's a tough one.

Home Again.

Well, I just got home from a nine day trip to New Orleans. I'm a little pooped. To be honest, I always dread these trips. They are so long and exhausting. I hate living out of a suitcase and the showering conditions always leave you feeling a little dirtier than you were before. I always come home so excited though. I'm always blown away by my kids. They work so much harder than expected. They seek God in incredible ways. Mission trips give me a glimpse of what the body of Christ is truly intended to be.

New Orleans is doing great and terrible all at the same time. Many things had changed since last year. A lot of people had come back and it wasn't such a ghost town. More stores were open and quite a few houses were rebuilt and being lived in. A lot of houses had been completely demolished. There were houses that hadn't even been touched though. Streets were still lined with FEMA trailers and it was clear that people were very weary. They were not without hope though. They were confident that God was at work in their lives even in these unbelievable conditions. One of our sweetest moments happened one night at our devo. We had driven through the neighborhood where we worked last year. One of the work groups from last year always pulled into a Walgreens parking lot for lunch and ate under the pharmacy drive through overhang. So we decided to worship in that same spot. A man and his daughted drove by and saw us so they decided to get out and talk to us for a few minutes. He told us about his experience in the hurricane and about the friends and neighbors who had been killed by Katrina. He encouraged our work and told us that church groups were responsible for the rebuilding that had been done. When he left we were all so touched by his words. How often to you see God in a large Cajun man and his daughter? As hopeless as New Orleans may seem, God is still at work there. We believe in and worship a God of redemption, a God who rebuilds and restores. New Orleans is a testament to that.

My parents gave me a digital camera as a graduation gift, so now I can put a few more photos on here. Here are some from my sister in law's fiesta celebrating her law school graduation.

Here is the lady of the evening, Hailey, along with my brother David.

This is their dog Carey, dressed up for the occasion. My brother was not amused.
Here are my lovely parents enjoying the party.
And here's a shot of both of my brothers.

This is a super close up of my other sister in law Julie and my niece Kaelan. My brother Stephen took this one. Nice job.
Well, last night I got home from our junior high mission trip. I may be more convinced than ever that the junior high years are the hardest. There was so much drama! She likes him, but he likes her, so she's mad at her, and he talked bad about her, so she told him about her and now she's mad... One of the girls said that she wasn't going to talk about people any more, and one of the other girls quickly responded with "Well, let us know when we can talk to you again." You just can't make that kind of stuff up.

Anyways, I thought St. Louis was a great city. I went up to the top of the arch and looked out over the sky line as the sun was setting. It was beautiful. We worked with some great agencies further convicting me of the need to work for social justice. Here's a picture of the teens at a food pantry.

Overall, we had a great week. We were even on the local news a couple of times. The day we worked at the food pantry a news crew showed up and filmed us working. Then one afternoon we were at the zoo and happened to walk up to the elephant area right when they were bringing out the new baby elephant for the first time. Three news cameras were there and filmed us watching the blessed event. Here's a picture of baby Jade.I was really excited about the elephant, she (or he?) was so cute. I think they said she was three months old. I just love zoos.

I want to type a few words about the Overland Park girl who was abducted at Target this week, but I'm too tired to keep typing, so I'll put that in a future post. Good night everyone.

Well, I finally feel settled in and I'm going out of town tomorrow. So much for not living out of a suitcase. I'm headed to St. Louis with 30 middle schoolers tomorrow for a mission trip and I think it will be great. I'm loving being here in Kansas again. My kids and parents are the best. I'm having a great time with the other interns too.

My parents drove up here with me to spend a few days. It was really neat to show them around KC. I was really sad to take them to the airport though. There's something different about me staying and them leaving. So, when I drove out of the airport I was a little emotional and distracted and I missed my turn off and accidentally drove half way to Iowa. Yup, I probably drove for 40 minutes before I even knew I was off track. I turned around and realized how off course I was which only heightened my emotional state. It took me about two hours to get from the airport back to the church building, a trip that should have only taken 45 minutes. I still can't believe I did that. Typical Sue.

This summer we are without a youth minister. I guess some might see this as a problem, but it makes me excited (as much as I loved the old youth minister). I'm excited to see what I'm made of, although it's too late to find out that I'm not cut out for ministry. I know I'm going to learn so much this summer.

I better go work on my class for in the morning. I made posters and I'm showing a clip from The Lion King. Yay for media.

I'm here. Yay Kansas!!

Well, I'm in the big Lub for a couple of days. Officially, I am no longer a resident of Abilene, TX. I met someone this weekend who asked me where I lived and I said, "Uhhh... I don't know."

The last week or so has been pretty crazy. The weekend of the 12th was my graduation. It was a great weekend. My family came and we celebrated the whole weekend. We went to eat at Cypress Street (a restaurant in Abilene I never eat at because of the $$$) and it was so nice. The Abilene piano man was there playing and I remember thinking- what a great way to end my time here. My graduation was very special. Before the actual ceremony, all of the Graduate School of Theology grads participated in a covenant service- the closest thing us Church of Christers have to an ordination service. It was really special and it made me realize that I am no longer preparing for ministry, I'm there.

Last week I took a youth ministry short course. This means I went to class from 8-5 Monday through Friday and I have some papers due later on. I'm so glad this was my last class. I always dread these short courses, because they are such a beating. I'm always so exhausted. But this week was different. It actually energized me and made me so excited about my future.

On Friday afternoon I headed down to San Antonio for my sister in law, Hailey's graduation from law school. I'm so proud of her. She is going to be a great attorney. On Saturday night Hailey's parents hosted a fiesta to celebrate Hailey's big day. It was so much fun. They even had a mariachi band perform. I don't know if I've ever had so much fun with total strangers. I now LOVE fiestas!

Monday morning, my parents and I woke up early to trek back to Abilene to pack up my apartment and move everything back to my storage unit here in Lubbock. It was such a long day and we were all so tired. I felt so bad that my parent had to go to work today. Parenthood is so selfless, I don't know if I ever want kids. I don't even like doing those for myself.

Anyways, that all for now. I'm just sitting here getting pumped for my summer in Overland Park. I can't wait to see my kids!

Not Sue

I am not Sue. Sue is sitting right here, but she is not blogging. I am blogging on her behalf. On behalf of Sue, thank you for reading her blog.

Yours truly,
Dave Blanchard, Esquire

I am now 25.

I am now a master.

awww

Well, last night I was super surprised by a good bye party thrown in my honor. I LOVE surprise parties. And this was just so special. It means so much that my friends care that I'm leaving and would take the time to put together a party. Awww.

Do you ever feel like you're going to open your door and see Noah pulling up on the ark? It will not stop raining around here. Now I realize I have grown up in the desert, so any rain is a lot. But lately we have thunder storms and tornado warnings every night. And it's not going to let up this week. I really need to be working on my tan and these clouds aren't helping at all.

Anyways, it's finals week. I have flashcards every where, and I'm trying to fill my brain up with as much knowledge as possible. I know I'm starting to sound like a broken record here, but I just can't believe this is the end of my time here. I have boxes everywhere and I'm starting to see people for the last time. It's weird how you can be sad and excited and scared and confident all at the same time.

Well, I wish I could close with a funny story or something, but my life is pretty boring right now. Tomorrow I'll go out and try to do something really exciting to blog about.

It's May!!!! The best month of the year. Maybe it's the warm weather or the end of school that makes me love May so much. It might be the season finales to all of my favorite shows that I look forward to. I guess the truth is, I love May because it's my birthday month! On May 15th, I hit the big 2-5. That's crazy. Half way to 50. Quarter way to 100. And if you're looking for that perfect birthday gift, here it is. Season 2 of Beverly Hills 90210 hits stores today. You know how much I love my 90210. Happy May everyone.

Here are a couple of pages from this week's People Magazine. The first is an ad for this week's huge Grey's event. Notice the new characters to the right of Addison. Are you going to watch her spin off?



The second page is dedicated to my mother. Since she turned 60, she keeps on saying, "60 is the new 40!" Which is very funny. This page is devoted to beauty over 60.

Happy Sixties Mom!

Grey's made an awesome connection last week. During the beginning of the episode, they played a remake of the 80's song "Dancin' With Myself." True Patrick Dempsey fans will remember this song. It was playing during a very important part of Patrick's hit teen movie "Can't Buy Me Love." Coincidence?? I doubt it.

Anyways, yesterday was a big day. I turned in my last 20 page paper. I feel so much better. I just have a few more little papers and finals. I'm going to sleep in tomorrow and not feel guilty about it. :)

It has been freezing around here today. Really, what is the deal with this weather?

Well, my cookies were a hit and I passed my comp. The stress and pressure have not subsided though. I have a paper due just about every other day for the next two weeks or so, including tomorrow!?! What kind of a Bible professor schedules a due date on a Sunday? An ungodly one, that's who! Just kidding... sort of.

At the end of my comp, my professors got around me to pray a prayer of blessing over me, and I totally fell apart. I started crying, actual tears (something very uncommon for me). Luckily we were praying so their eyes were closed and they couldn't see my teary display. I don't really know where this emotion came from. Maybe it's the stress or sleep loss. Maybe it's that I'm leaving in a month and refuse to even think about leaving this community. Perhaps, it's my deep gratitude towards these men who have been so instrumental in transforming my life. Whatever it was, that moment was one of those precious times in your life that you just don't forget.

Right now my future looks sunny. I'm going back to Kansas City for the summer (I don't think I've mentioned that here). I think the summer is going to be great. And, I have several prospects for the fall. Yesterday I had a phone interview with the Salvation Army in Portland, OR. The interview went well, and I think the job sounds really neat. I'm not sure if it is exactly what I want to be doing though. My other major prospect right now is a youth ministry job in Campbell, CA (outside of San Francisco). I have heard great things about the church and about the youth minister I'd be working for. Anyways, I just can't believe that this west Texas girl may become a west coaster. I know I'll be made fun of for my accent pretty often, but I can handle that. Every time I see a new job prospect, I look to see if the city has an IKEA. I do plan to spend a lot of my time shopping at IKEA once I start receiving a regular income. That makes me so excited!!

Well, I better work on papers for a little while longer tonight. I hope everyone has a great Sunday tomorrow, I'll be typing.

*****By the way, when I published this post I was visitor number 11,111. Neat-O!*****

"When you're alone and life is making you lonely, you can always go...

Downtown."

I've had this song in my head for a couple of weeks now. I'm not sure where I'm hearing it, but I catch myself singing it all the time.

"Downtown, things'll be great when you're
Downtown, no finer place for sure,
Downtown, everything's waiting for you!"

Well, my make up comp is in the morning at 9:45. I saw one of my professors today and he asked me if I needed a wake up call. Funny. I've got the cookies in the oven right now to give them as an "I'm sorry I missed my first comp, please accept this bribe" gift.

It's job time. I've been sending out resumes for ministry jobs and I've gotten a couple of bites. I've heard from two churches letting me know that they'll be calling me, and I have a phone interview with a branch of the Salvation Army in Oregon on Friday. They are hiring a youth pastor. I don't really know what that job would look like, but I'm definitely intrigued.

You'll be happy to know that the blog you are reading right now has reached new levels of fame. My post from April 7 was quoted from the pulpit of an Abilene church on Sunday morning during the communion thoughts. The word crap was replaced with the words "expletive deleted," which I'm told led many people to think of the f word. I'm glad my words could lead people to such a holy place. I just want to be a blessing.

I'm Scared.

Is it okay to say that? It seems like there is a moment early in life when it is not okay to say I'm scared. We're supposed to grow up and be tough and we aren't allowed to be scared anymore. When I was a little girl I was scared of men with facial hair. Isn't that weird. My fears are less tangible these days. I'm scared of the future. I'm scared I'll get a C in one of my classes this semester. I'm scared that I will finish a master's degree in ministry and not find a ministry job. I'm scared that the idea of a 'calling' might not be real. I'm scared of COBRA insurance rates. I'm scared that I'll always be dependent on my parents. I'm scared of settling for a job I hate because I need the money. I'm scared I'll get a job far away and I'll be lonely. I'm scared to grow up, but also I'm scared I'll never grow up. I'm scared of depression. I'm scared I'll never be married. I'm scared I'll never be loved.

It's snowing, Abilene Texas, Easter weekend.
What the crap??

So, Tuesday was one of those days. I missed my comp. Yes, my Master's degree comprehensive oral exam. I thought it was scheduled for Wednesday. I had my outfit picked out and everything ready to go (for Wednesday). But at about 9:05 Tuesday morning I got a phone call from one of my professors telling me that he was sitting there with two other professors waiting on me. I was still in my pajamas and couldn't possibly leave without a shower, so I was forced to reschedule. My professors have been very understanding and have assured me that "these things happen," but I can't help but feel totally stupid. That's been my fear about my comps all along. The truth is the exam for my degree has a reputation for being pretty easy and unfailable (I know that's not a word), but I have had this huge amount of anxiety about looking stupid in front of these professors who I really respect and love; these are my favorite professors. Anyways, not showing up definitely made me feel pretty stupid in front of them, so my plan is to make them cookies when we meet for my make-up exam. My cookies are awesome, so I know that should raise my status a few notches.

I found out something crazy yesterday. ACU actually has people on staff who spend their time Googling ACU. They are attempting to see what is being said out there about the school. I think it is really funny that there is someone getting paid to search Google all day. I do it for free all the time. Perhaps I've missed my true calling in life.

Well, I need to take a blog break for a little while. The month of April will be here in about 24 hours. All of my papers and projects are due in April. So, if I'm typing something, I had better be typing a Word document rather than a blog post.

By the way, I've lost over 60 pounds. Whoo-Hoo!!

It's been one of those days.

So, whose side are you on?

Callie or George. Is Callie just too emotional, needy, and insecure, or does she have a point. Is George insensitive and does he put his friends above his wife too often, or is he right? Obviously, the new developments in George and Izzie's relationship puts a whole new spin on this whole situation.

Well, the break is over. I took half a Spring Break and it was wonderful. On Friday I had a doctor's appointment in Lubbock. So, I spent the evening with my parents. On Saturday I drove to Dallas to spend some time with my brother, sister-in-law, and niece. I just can't believe how big my niece is getting. She'll be two in a few days and that's nuts. Then on Monday I met up with my super duper friend Samantha for some shopping and fun. We went to outlet malls, Sam Moon, and IKEA. We spent the night in a hotel and even dyed my hair red! I had so much fun and felt like I was really on vacation. I got the greatest deals too!! I probably spent way too much money. We found one store that had comforters for for $9.99! Wow. My favorite store was by far IKEA. It was unbelievable. Has everyone been there? I was such an experience. I long for the day when I can go in there and actually buy stuff to fill my home.

I guess all good things must come to an end. So, I came back to Abilene yesterday to work of school stuff. Let me tell you, I am ready to be finished!!

It's that time of year again. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the trees are blooming, and the papers are due. I can't believe it's already March. As a student, March scares me, not as much as April, but way more than February. March means that I have to kick it into high gear. March means that all of the procrastination and naps and computer games have to end. It's March Madness baby, and by madness I mean I am out of control!

Having a blog is so much pressure. You've got to keep it updated and entertaining even though you rarely have anything to say. So, here's the major happenings in my life right now.
-hair loss and naps: My doctor called me last week to let me know that I am not absorbing enough vitamins. Malnutrition is very common for people who have had gastric bypass surgery. What this means for me is that I need to take more vitamins, I'm exhausted and need a nap every day, and my hair is falling out like crazy. The hair thing isn't too big of a deal because I have such big hair, but I just hate having hair everywhere.
-summer school: I found out this week that I am missing one class to graduate in May, which means I'll have to take a maymester course. I don't know if I'll be able to walk in May, the jury's still out on that one. I'm not really upset about the graduation thing as much as I am frustrated about taking another class. I ready to be finish with reading, and researching, and writing papers!
-Spring Break: in my tradition as a grad student, I'll be spending my spring break in the library. I know, I know, please don't be jealous of my coolness.
-sunshine: I'm loving this spring weather. I was really tired of the cold. Speaking of sunshine, has everyone seen Little Miss Sunshine? It's so great.

Okay, I'll say it. As much as I hate to admit it, last night's Grey's was a let down. I'm really glad Meredith didn't die, that would have been too much. And, her mom dying was not that big of a shock. I'm not a huge fan of watching dead people walk around. Was that supposed to be heaven or limbo or what? And what was with that girl bleeding all the time. I was a little freaked out by all of it. I definitely thought the funniest part was watching Christina show off all of that stuff she bought at the $1 store. I rarely identify with Christina, but $1 shopping is a major hobby of mine. You wouldn't believe what you can get for just a dollar! Anyways, Izzie was mean, Derek was so sad, maybe Addison and Mark will work out, and I always love Bailey and George.

Here is a neat survey if you care about the environment even the least bit. It measures how large your ecological footprint is. Unfortunately, if everyone lived like me, we would need 3.1 planets.

Okay, to all of my readers out there who watch Grey's Anatomy and live in Abilene: you are invited to my apartment on Thursday night to watch it. I'll even make cookies or something. If you don't live in Abilene, you are still invited to come by. You can even have an extra cookie for your travels. If you don't watch Grey's, what is wrong with you??

Well, I'm still on a high from Grey's the other night. I actually screamed out loud when they showed Denny. Could they really kill off their main character? The preview for this week said it will be a devastating end to this three-part series. I don't know if I can handle it.

Well, I changed my background, obviously. The only thing I don't like is the title. I can't figure out how to move it. Any thoughts out there??

Oh LCU...

Well, last weekend was Homecoming/Master Follies weekend at LCU, so I made the little trek to the big Lub for the festivities. It was lots of fun. LCU has gotten really nice. Everything is so new and pretty (well prettier). It's amazing what new carpet can accomplish. Alumni breakfast was huge. I've never seen that many people there. Honestly, alumni breakfast is scary. All those people, most of them I don't know. So, I like to sit at a table with my friends and stay there. I don't get up for a refill or to use the bathroom. If someone wants to talk to me, they'll make it to my table. I hope that doesn't sound rude, I'm just scared of all those people. Master Follies was really good this year. The hosts and hostesses were great and all of the club shows were really funny. Shows like Master Follies and Sing Song crack me up. It's the most competitive event of the whole year, and it involves boys wearing make up and dancing. You've got to love small Christian schools.

While I was in Lubbock I also got to celebrate my dad's 60th birthday. That means that both of my parents are now in their sixties. If I would ever get out of school maybe they could retire someday. All weekend my mom kept saying: "Sixty is the new forty!" That's hilarious.

Well, Valentine's Day is tomorrow. I have always loved this holiday. Maybe it's because I've never had a Valentine, so there's no pressure to buy a gift or be romantic. I just love all of the red and hearts and flowers and presents and kisses. The one thing I don't like about Valentine's Day is hearing people whine about it. Maybe if you would stop whining, you wouldn't be single on Valentine's Day ;)

My latest and greatest food find are the 100 calorie packs. mmmm. They are so good. I've been missing snacks. I found something else at Walmart yesterday. Fresh onions and peppers cut up for fajitas. All you have to do is throw them on the grill/skillet/pan. I hate cutting up onions, so this is great. I think I'll cook them tonight! Hopefully no fires this time though.

Whoa, whoa. Wasn't yesterday just crazy. First, the unexpected death of Anna Nicole Smith- it's the kind of thing you aren't surprised about but it's really shocking. And then that crazy episode of Grey's. I'm watching the replay tonight because it was so good.

Well, happy Friday everyone :) Why did it get cold again!?!

Thank you to all of you who commented about your identity, however I already knew all of you read my blog. So, no mysteries solved. Oh well. Some of you asked about the site meter. I think there are several versions out there. The one I used was at sitemeter.com. You have to start an account and then they'll give you a code to copy and paste into your profile. It's definitely something that requires a little thought, at least it was for me- I'm not that computer savvy.

For those of you who are consistent readers, you may remember a post about my troubles in the kitchen. Since my surgery, I've been trying to cook more, which raises the likelihood of trouble in the kitchen. Well, here's my latest incident. I was making some soup, so I started by boiling some chicken. Some of the water overflowed and I didn't think much about it until I started boiling some vegetables on the same burner. All of a sudden I looked over and flames, real flames- as in fire, were coming out from under the pot. Since I live alone I must keep my cool in these situations and just handle it. If I'd had a roommate or husband around, I would have been screaming. Well, I removed the pot and turned off the burner and waited for the fire to die out. It didn't take too long, but my heart was beating pretty fast. I was determined not to lose the time I spent in the kitchen, so I salvaged the the fire vegetables and kept on cooking. It turned out to be the best soup I've ever made!! Who knew?

I recently made an incredible purchase. I was at The Dollar Tree- my favorite store of all time, and happened to walk by the books. Usually the books are terrible, I mean really terrible. But I happened to see two awesome books. The Trading Spaces Ultimate Episode Guide and the Extreme Home Makeover Official Companion Book were screaming for me to pick them up. These books are super duper. I'd put pictures of them on here, but the Add Image button won't work. Anyways, when I saw these books I thought to myself, there's no way these books are only one dollar. The prices printed on the back of the books were $20 and $30. I'm telling you, these are fancy books. As fancy as they are though, these books are in The Dollar Tree, so they must be $1. Turns out they were!! Yippie skippy! $2 bought me two great books. I'm pumped about these books, much more excited than I am about my text books.

Lastly, how much do I love syndication? Right now I'm watching Grey's Anatomy reruns on Lifetime Television for Women. That right, twice a week baby!!

Who are you?

Last summer I put a site meter on my blog to see where my blog was being read. It's been very interesting to see the location of my blog readers. Not just interesting, but also a little scary at times. Sometimes I'll have hits from Afghanistan and Russia. Who would be reading my blog there? Probably a mistake, at least that's what I tell myself. Then I see the locations of old friends and loved ones. I'm always so excited to see Oregon or Iowa or Kansas. It has also answered a few questions for me. Like the person who left an anonymous comment about me being hot. That was such a great complement, and I don't know your name, but I know you live in Abilene. I'm still trying to find you. :) There are a few recurring locations that are a total mystery though. Columbus, Georgia; Chicago, Illinois; Logan, Utah; Round Rock, Texas; Malibu, California; South River, New Jersey... Who are you? Here's the request: leave me a comment some time. I don't guess you have to, but it would be nice to know who you are. I'd even send you a shout out some time.

Great news for you: Nick at Nite, the place for TV hits, is going to start playing reruns of Growing Pains. That was always one of my favorites! If they'd only start playing The Wonder Years, I'd be set.

I spent my afternoon at home, my other home: the Brown Library. It was in the 50s today and I was so excited. I'm a little tired of the cold weather. I've been thinking a lot lately about the calling and leading of God. I think about this a lot when it's time for a job search or life change. Does God really call us to certain places at certain times? Did God call me to Kansas City last summer or here to Abilene for the last two years? I believe God is capable of doing this, but does God actually do this? Perhaps God simply calls us to total surrender, and the places we live and work don't matter as much because our lives are surrendered to God. Do we make location and occupation decisions based on what we want, or does God place an actual calling in our hearts when we are trying to decide? I wish I had answers to this. Any thoughts out there?

Cold Feet and Facial Hair

I'm cold. The bottom of my jeans are wet from walking in the snow. I just can't believe this weather. Since I can't even walk that well in normal conditions, this kind of weather makes getting around pretty tough. I look ridiculous when I'm walking.

Due to the ice, today was the first day of classes around here. This morning I went to my Church History II class. The class is going to be great, but it's going to give me a pretty good beating. The professor, Doug Foster, loves the subject so much it makes it easy to get excited about it. For those of you who know Rodney Plunkett, he and Doug were best friends growing up. They even look alike, huh.


I think it's the mustache. Do you think the mustache will make a big return in cultural style someday? I want this mustache to make a come back.


Seriously, what was that guy thinking? Or what about this guy. He competed in the Mustache World Championships with that thing.

Personally, I prefer to wax my mustache every couple of weeks. I think that's the only proper thing to do as a lady. And you know how much of a lady I am.

Well, there you have it: my thoughts for Wednesday. I'm sure you all wish you could be as deep and insightful as I am!

I'm sitting in class a little bored right now, that's why I'm answering these 40 questions.

1. Where were you 2 hours ago?
In class
2. Who will be your next kiss?
ummm, probably my dad
3. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?
yes, my new backpack
4. When is the last time you went to the mall?
Around New Years
5. Are you wearing socks right now?
yes
6. When was the last time you went out of the state?
November- to Kansas
7. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?
no
8. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Propel Fitness Water
9. What are you wearing right now?
jeans and a sweatshirt
10. What was your last purchase?
a can of mixed nuts and a People magazine
11. Last food you ate?
Grilled Chicken Salad
12. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
My mom
13. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
no
14. Do you have a pet?
yes, Dolly. But she's lives at my parents house
15. What was the last sporting event you watched?
The Tech vs. UNLV basketball game at the Spirit Arena
16. What is/was your favorite class?
hard to say
17. If you could be anywhere right now where would it be?
In bed because it's raining
18. What is the last thing you purchased online?
Text books
20. What is your favorite soup?
chicken tortilla
21. Do you miss anyone?
yes
22. Last play you saw?
I don't remember, maybe Les Miserables a few years ago
23. What are your plans for tomorrow?
sleep, rest
24. Who is the last person you messaged on myspace?
maybe Lynsey
25. Ever gone camping?
yes, and I peed my pants
26. Were you an honor roll student in school?
Yes, in high school
27.What do you think will happen in the future?
I have no idea. It's scary.
28. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne?
Not today
31. Do you have a tan?
not any more
32. How old do you want to be when you have kids?
late 20s early 30s
33. Do you collect anything?
I have a lot of scrap booking stuff I never use.
34. Do you have any tattoos or piercings?
My ears are pierced.
36.What kind of soda do you like?
No soda anymore.
37. Do you like hot sauce?
Yes, very much.
38. Last time you took a shower?
Last night.
39. What is your mood right now?
I'm a little tired and weary from class.
40. Are you someones best friend?
I don't know.

Grey's tonight! Whoo-hoo! I'm ready to see a new episode.

I'm sitting in class...tired.

Well, my recovery period is officially over (in theory). I'm going to begin my morning tomorrow with an exam to kick off my week-long short course. The course is about worship and I must say that I am probably more excited about this course than any other class I've taken (or will take for that matter). I've heard it's one of the best, and I just love worship, so there you go.

I went to the doctor on Friday for my one month check up. One month, whoa. It's been really fast and really slow at the same time. Really fast because I just can't believe how quickly I have recovered and started to lose weight. Slow because for three weeks I was on a puree diet, which in all honesty was totally gross. I did eat a lot of cool whip in that stage though, which wasn't at all unpleasant. We don't give cool whip enough credit in our society. It's light and fluffy, it's delicious! Anyways, anyways... the doctor said I was doing great. My incision is looking pretty good and my blood pressure has gone down a lot. I'm still a little sore, but I haven't had a pain pill in over a week! I can't lift anything for another month, so my parents bought me the cutest pink rolling backpack. I realize that rolling backpacks are a little out of style now, but who cares- it's pink!

Well, Mr. C called the other night. We haven't spoken on the phone for a really long time, even since before I sent the big I love you letter. I've been telling myself that I'm over him for a while now, but after our talk on the phone I just couldn't stop thinking about him. Our talk was so nice, it's always so nice to talk to him. Oh well, I don't have time to think about him anymore, it's time for school. My school work has a funny way of helping me to avoid thinking about things. It's nice in a way, it's also called avoidance though.

I'll leave you with a picture of my cutie pie niece Kaelan Brooke. I call her KB for some reason. I just think it sounds cute coming out of my mouth and she responds to it, so I keep doing it. She's starting to talk so she can finally say my name, well not MY name but the stupid nick name my brothers gave me (LuLu). I'm still bitter about that nick name, especially that it stuck. Anyways, Kaelan says it really funny: Laahh Luuhh, or something like that. I just love it, but hopefully she won't call me that forever :)

I've been missing Grey's so much lately. Haven't y'all?

30 pounds in 30 days. whoa.

Hmmm... Where to start? End of school? Surgery? Or Christmas? I feel like all of these things have been pretty major lately. Let's start with school. Oh my goodness, how stressed out was I? I had to get everything finished and turned in early for my surgery. The great news is that this is the first semester that my cumulative GPA is above a 3.0, meaning this is my first semester to be out of academic probation. I always thought I was a pretty good student, but grad school has shown me otherwise. I can't believe it, but I only have one more semester. I've already had to start reading for January which is a total bummer, but what else do I have to do... oh yeah, watch 90210 reruns on Soapnet!!- my parent's cable is awesome.

My Christmas was pretty great. Both of my brothers, their wives, and my niece were here for the big day. Christmas is a lot more fun when you have a little one around. Kaelan (my niece) was so excited about everything. She's so funny. We all basically spent five days sitting around and watching her. It was great.

Even though it has only been a couple of weeks, I already feel like my surgery has drastically changed my life. I feel like my body is finally being put back together (with the exception of soreness in my abdomen.) I had my blood tested again this week and everything is almost back to normal. Due to the trauma of getting my gallbladder out, my white count shot up really high. A high white blood count can be an indicator of cancer or other bad things, so it's a little scary to hear that your white count is twice as high as it should be. It's almost back to normal, so that's good. It's funny how much the surgery has changed my appetite. I am never hungry, in fact I always feel full. I have to force myself to eat, which is a nice problem to have. Although sitting through Christmas dinner with only a fourth of a cup of puree chicken wasn't the greatest experience, I made it though. I'm just glad the holidays only come around once a year. Again, let me just say thank you to all of you out there who have been praying for me and supporting me through this. This whole experience has honestly been as easy as it could have possibly been, and I know that has a lot to do with the support I've received. So, once again, thank you so much.

I have so much to blog about, but I'm just not in the mood. So, I'll leave you with this exciting news:
Since December 1st, I've lost 23 pounds!! Whoo-Hoo!!

still recovering... still doing good. :)

I just got home from the hospital a couple of hours ago. I had to stay an extra night because my white blood cell count was high, which means I could have had an infection. It came down though so I am fine. I'm actually feeling pretty good. My stomach is obviously sore. The bypass surgery only took about 30 minutes, but it took them a really long time to get my gall bladder out. Aparently it was very diseased. The first night was pretty rough, but yesterday and today have been relatively easy. I don't really know what else to say. So, I'll write more later. Thank you so much for all of the prayers. I could tell a difference!

Okay, so I don't really hate Jared Cramer, but he was sitting by me in the computer lab this morning and he wouldn't quit bothering me, so I showed him by hating him on my blog.

Anyways, tomorrow is the big day. I can't believe it, well actually I can, I've been waiting for this for quite a while. Originally, I was scheduled to get to the hospital at 6:30 in the morning, but I've been bumped. So, now I am scheduled to go in at noon. Which means it will be a long day of waiting around. If you think about it, I'd appreciate a prayer or two. I should be getting home from the hospital on Wednesday evening. I'll blog with an update when I can!

I HATE Jared Cramer.

Tonight I took a little break from my work and went to the movies with some friends. We went to see Stranger Than Fiction. I must say, it was so good. I'm rarely that impressed with movies, but this one was really good. It kind of reminded me of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, another favorite of mine. I must warn you though, there is one locker room scene where you see several old man butts, so if you're going to the movies with your family during the holidays, it might be a little awkward to be sitting by your dad during that scene. Other than that, it's great!

Four Days
Field Ed Work
Church History Final

Six Days
Sermon Project
Church History Final
Field Ed Work
and a sinus infection to get over. :(

This one is pretty funny.

8 days
Preaching Project
Williams Book
Church History Final
Field Ed Work

Just got back from Lubbock, again. I had all of my pre-op stuff done yesterday. I need to have my gallbladder taken out. So what am I, 75 years old? They will take it out during my surgery. The end of semester stress has definitely hit. So much to do...so little time.
10 Days
Catechesis Paper
Preaching Project
Williams Book
Church History Final
Field Ed Work